Yesterday we discussed what an “Online Seller Hater” and a “Reseller Hate Mob” is, so today I am going to tell you exactly how to respond to these people.

There’s two types of "Online Seller Haters":

1. Outright Trolls who just spew mean comments. You post a photo of a dress you are selling and they feel the need to say it’s “skanky and the price is too high. Nobody will ever buy this ugly sh*t”. This is the type of Hater we are discussing today.
2. Then there’s the Fake Customer haters. These are the trolls that pretend they purchased from you and they had a terrible experience. This is a different type of hater that we have previously discussed in our How to Get a Fake Review Removed blog post. We are not discussing the CRIME of Defamation today.

RESPONDING TO ONLINE RESELLER HATE

Deleting a Haters comment encourages them to continue to post away because they know it is impacting you so much that you are rushing to remove it. But, they WANT you to tell them what they posted hurt your feelings, so giving them what they want is also out of the question. I have always found it best to reply with something kind of funny, but enough to shut them up.  The art of "burning" Haters and Trolls is to play to the 3rd party whose reading the comments; ultimately, with a hilarious reply you will end up getting a sh*tload of "likes" which will also motivate your hater to pick on someone else.  

Here’s a few of my personal favs that has gotten us loads of "Likes" and re-posts:

"Your mom said it’s time to come upstairs and take out the trash"

"Your opinion and a dime could buy you a 10-cent piece of candy. Now you just need to ask mom for a dime." 

"Hang in there!  Life can be hard when you're going through puberty!"

"Your mom said "get off the computer because little league practice starts in 20 minutes.""

"Hang in there, little snowflake! Winter is coming and you will be happy again!"

"Your mama must be a pretzel because you're a little salty."

"Did that comment make you feel “heard”?"

"Your mamas so fat, she keeps a deep fryer in the bedroom."  (no, I am not above a yo mama joke. Hey, they started it!)

"Sounds like you need Valium and a Therapist, not a new dress" (or whatever the item is that they're complaining about)

"If you're this emotional over a dress, I can't imagine how you react when Taco Bell cuts your hours"

Whatever the item is that they're complaining about, just reply "I got it from your moms closet"

"Do you need a glass of water? Because you sure seem thirsty."

"Hurry! Get back to your Safe Space! Your crayons and balloons are lonely!"

"I would spend time responding to your comment but I have too many orders to fill!"

"Are you finally ungrounded?  I see your mom must have given you back your cell phone." 

A large amount of trolls have bogus accounts with no avatar or a cartoon avatar, so if they call you, your hair, your merchandise “ugly” or whatever, just respond with “.... says the person with no avatar” or “says the person with a cartoon avatar”.

Or, you can look at their follower / subscriber count and say "...says the person with 4 Facebook friends..." or "...says the person with 0 subscribers..."

"Are you angry because mama forgot to cut the crust off your PB&J again?" 

"We can discuss your comment more when I come through the McDonalds drive-thru. Yes, I want fries with that."

"Those are deep words from such a shallow person"

"Awwwww.  This little fellow needs a hug!"

When someone attacks you for your physical appearance, you can respond with something like, "I am going to cry myself to sleep in my new Mercedes, parked outside of my paid-off house."

"Sorry, I just ran out of f*cks to give."

"I am honored that you took the time to make a fake profile just to comment on my dress!  If that's not dedication, I don't know what is!"

"Is it cold in mamas basement? Why don't you go put your Snuggie on" 

Simply correct their poor grammar. Trolls usually cannot spell and do not understand how to correctly use punctuation. So respond to them with their own stupid comment, but use correct grammar. “I think you meant to say…___________”

"Awww, this little fellow needs some attention! Someone give this little man a hug!"

"You seem upset. Did you lose in Fortnight again?  Need mommy to buy you some more V-Bucks?" 

 Hope you enjoyed this article!