I assume you are reading this because you either love reading this blog or because you are face-to-face with a buyer “sob story” email that you have no idea how to respond to. Yesterday we shared with you 14 absolutely hilarious and absurd Buyer Sob Stories from eBay and Poshmark sellers, hopefully you got a good laugh out of it!  So today we are going to address how to deal with these crazy stories.  Let's get started:

Regardless of what you sell or where you sell it, you’re going to hear sob stories. If you have no clue what I’m referring to, let me explain:

A buyer sob story is an email that is designed to tug at your heartstrings…. As well as your purse strings. The goal of the sob story is one of the following:

Seeking a large discount (in some cases they want it to be 100% FREE) or

the buyer is attempting to explain why they can’t pay or

In many cases they are trying to tell you why payment will delayed, in violation of the marketplaces policies

-Or-

They want to return the item outside of the return policies. For example, maybe they already used it so they have violated the return policy. Or perhaps you offer returns within 7 days and it has been 45 days since delivery.

Regardless of the reason, the buyer has chosen to share with you an (often lengthy and truly incredible) tale of why they need you to accommodate them.

Sob Stories range from the most basic (and super common) “My mother is in the hospital” to extravagant, such as “I was car jacked last night and everything I own, including my credit card, was stolen! When I got home I had a message on my answering machine from the doctor that said I have stage 4 lung cancer. I wanted to cry with my husband but he is held captive by ISIS overseas. As you can see, my life is very stressful at the moment so if you can take $5 for the blouse instead of $20, God will bless you greatly and I will pray for you 3 times a day for the rest of my life!!” - No matter what the sob story is, its goal is to get you to be extra flexible in some fashion.

THE REALITY OF “SOB STORIES”

If you sell large volumes of inventory you get these stories on a regular basis. Here’s what you need to know:

The buyer had time to shop your listings; THIS IS A FACT. If someone is flat broke they likely won’t be shopping eBay for Juicy Couture sweat outfits. Reality is, if someone is genuinely flat broke they can get dirt cheap (or even 100% FREE) clothing, personal hygiene items and more at their local crisis center.

Here in Michigan they are called Crisis Centers, however I have heard these places go by other names in other states… HOWEVER, at our local crisis center, in order for people to get 100% free things they have to provide evidence that they actually need them. As you can imagine, this is problematic for someone who just wants the Juicy outfit for an additional 75% off the price you have it listed at.

The buyer had time to email you the sob story. If someone is too busy to pay for it, they wouldn’t have time to email you… and if they do have time to email they can instead just pay. Equally, if someones life is so insanely hectic that they are unable to uphold their end of the purchase, how on earth did they find time to surf the internet and agree to buy it? Come on now; it just doesn’t make sense.

Selling online is a business, not a friendship. Of course it is indeed possible to make friends while conducting business, however you also have bills to pay, inventory to buy and at least 1 mouth to feed. Is it possible that all of these sob story people have immediate family in the emergency room, on life support? I suppose. But, think of it like this; let’s say you are not an online seller, but instead you are MasterCard or the home mortgage company or the Ford Motor Company automotive lease program… it doesn’t matter how elaborate the sob story is; rent is due on the 1st. Even if your best friend in the entire world, who has Parkensons disease, a cleft palate and a lazy eye, suffered a severe dog attack due to a stealthy pack of wolves roaming the streets of Illinois, caused her to have both her legs amputated; rent is still due on the 1st. This isn’t being “mean”, this is just conducting business.

Your business is not a charity. If you want to be a do-gooder and donate to charity, find a local 501c3 (licensed, non profit) charity. You can then have accurate records of what you donate and writeoff these donations on your taxes. You will also know what is actually happening with the items you donate… meaning, you will know they aren’t being listed by the “person in need” on eBay tomorrow.

Sob Story buyers are fully aware of what they are doing and I would be willing to guess that if you were able to check their “sent” email folder you would see dozens, perhaps even hundreds, of the same sob stories. The reality is that most people (sellers) are really good people who have worked hard for the inventory they have and who have a heart, which is why they have stayed in business (people who don’t give an F about anything or anyone usually fail quickly). BUT this also opens up the door for the sob story people to attempt their manipulation tactics.

****BUYERS WHO START OFF BEING A PROBLEM USUALLY TURN INTO AN EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM!!!!**** If the buyer is already asking you to knock the price down by 35%, then wants a payment extension, they now know they can run you into the ground. Get ready for complaints, a dispute and a box of rocks returned instead of the PS4 you shipped out.

HOW TO DEAL WITH SOB STORIES:

Here’s a couple great ways to address the situation:

If they have NOT bought it yet:

Lay-A-Way - This is SUPER SIMPLE, MY FRIENDS! If she really, really, really can’t live without it but doesn’t get paid until Friday, offer her a lay-a-way WITH 20% DOWN, NON REFUNDABLE! Simply create a PayPal invoice and send it to the prospective buyer. Be sure to FILL OUT ALL THE DETAILS; NON REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT TOWARD (listing ID / item name). Be sure to include the date the balance MUST be paid by. YOU NEED TO INCLUDE “ITEM WILL SHIP WHEN BALANCE IS PAID IN FULL”. Also add “failure to pay $X by XX-XX-2021 will result in forfeiture of deposit” as well as whatever other Terms you need to include. If you do this, best case scenario, she pays for it and that’s the end. Worst case scenario, you keep the deposit and relist it; meaning you got paid a few bucks to take the item off your site for a week or two.

Simply don’t reply - sure, it sounds heartless, but you know what else is heartless? Making up an outrageous, tear-jerking story to get a discount or get the rules changed.

“It’s Not Mine” - this is always a wonderful excuse any online seller can use for any situation regarding a buyer wanting a discount, even if they don’t have a sob story. Simply say “I’m sorry but this pajama set is actually something I am selling for a friend so I cannot alter the price.”

Hit Back - if you’re feeling froggy, leap to teach them a lesson by replying with your own sob story; “I'm so very sorry! I would love to reduce the price on this tea kettle to $3 but I threw my back out chopping wood. Due to my furnace stopping working and not being able to afford a new $3,500 one, I am now forced to create my own heat by cutting down my back yard trees. I am dreading having no shade this summer but heat right now is my #1 priority. The last tree I cut down was a 45 foot oak and somehow I managed to slip both my L-1 and L-3 vertebrae! I was going to have my son drive me to ER but I forgot that he was already in ER due to having his foot run over by an ice cream truck! Would you believe he fractured every single bone?! Anyways, as I was saying, I needed to get to ER so I had no choice but to get an Uber. Due to my location an Uber to the hospital was HUNDREDS of dollars! So as I was in the Uber I realized I had forgotten my purse at home, so the Uber had to take me back to my condo, which cost an additional $75! After I grabbed my purse I was locking up the front door and my $300 chinchilla escaped. Not being able to bend I had no time to grab Misses Pookie before she darted off into the street. I then paid the Uber driver every last penny I had in my bank account to help me find Misses Pookie but we were not successful. By the time I got to ER my silk blouse was soaked in tears, and now requires dry cleaning, which I simply can’t afford. The good news is that I was given a hospital bed in the same room as my son… the bad part is that this same-room upgrade was $8,000...” - If you reply like this, I don’t think they will EVER ask for a discount again.

Point Out the Deal - If she needs you to lessen the price because her vehicle was just swept away in a tornado and she has to have her husband served with divorce papers because she caught him in bed with his secretary's husband; simply ignore the story and reply “This is a $100 Calvin Klein hoodie. I have it priced at $50 with free shipping. I do not charge sales tax, therefore you are already saving over 50% :) “ or, if you are really miffed at the story, you can get ballsy and reply, “Oh my goodness that sounds awful! It sounds like you will need to save every penny! This probably isn’t a good time to purchase this!” ← and nothing more. Just leave it at that.

eBay seller moo*cow*cornersuggests making your reply “"I'm sorry, but I prefer that all of my donations go to certified charities that serve people in my local area. Good luck to you and thanks for your interest in my item."”

If they HAVE purchased it

Immediately offer to cancel - this is a power move because it forces the buyer to decide if they truly want it at the price they AGREED to pay or not. Keep in mind; they like the item, hence the reason they went through with the purchase.

Ask for Proof - What harm does it do to ask for proof that their brand new Cadillac was t-boned by a train last night which is why they couldn't pay for the $4.99 Barbie clothing?

Be Blunt - “The item you bought was listed ay $9.99.” or “Like the listing says, payment is due within 72 hours”

Be Extra Blunt - “An Unpaid Item Dispute will be opened tomorrow at 9am if payment has not been remitted by 9pm EST”

IN CLOSING

People will only run you around as much as you let them. They buyer is NOT in control; you are. The amount you flex is up to you. If the buyer bought something you have been waiting 3 years to sell, it’s likely worth flexing a little however if the buyer is jerking you around on a hot listing, don't let them take away a sale from someone else who would be problem-free!

Love this blog post?  Next Read: