I thought it would be fun to critique “Buyer Sob Stories” today instead of just sharing them. The majority of these sob stories were received by Mercari sellers and posted on Reddit.

JUDGING SOB STORIES CRITERIA 

We will judge each Sob Story based on Creativity and Believability. The buyer will earn a score of 1 through 5 points, based on how creative and unique their Sob Story is. 5 points equals the most creative sob story. 1 point is equivalent to a run-of-the-mill, common Sob Story.

Believability - The buyer will earn an additional 1 - 5 points based on how likely it is that the seller will believe their story. The maximum amount of points a buyer Sob Story can get is 10, meaning it’s super believable and creative. The least amount of points a Sob Story can earn is 2. Enjoy ~

BUYER SOB STORY #1: $25 Item

Featuring:

• Autism
• Low Income
• Parental Time Taken Away
• Evil Ex
• Child’s Birthday

POINTS TOTAL: 4/10. While I must award points for the overall creativity, and while my heart goes out to autism, I find this Sob Story to be only mildly believable. I am giving this rating based on the fact that the item is $25 and quite honestly, in my opinion, it sounds like this man is trying to get himself a video game steering wheel for under $25 out-the-door. Although creative it’s not necessarily believable because the father states his sons birthday is “this summer”, which implies it is several months away. If the birthday is several months away the father (who only sees him TWO MONTHS A YEAR) should be able to get the $25 required to buy the item.  If this dad saved only $2 per month to go toward his son he rarely ever sees, he would be able to pay for it. 

SOB STORY #2: $35 Item

Featuring:

• Hospital
• Parent in ER’s Dying Wish IS this item
• Burial Fees
• Financially Broke, Only Have $5 TOTAL!

POINTS TOTAL: 2/10

I sincerely want to know what $35 item the dying parent wants to be buried with. Additionally, if your fathers dying wish was to be buried with a $35 item, you can’t come up with the dough to get it for them? You only have $5 total to accommodate your dads LAST WISH? Come on now.

SOB STORY #3: Price of Item Not Mentioned

Featuring:

• Father
• Divorced
• 6 Kids
• Fatty Liver
• Financially Devastated
• God
• Holiday Wishes

POINT TOTAL:

Meh, I gotta go 5/10. Although it is more creative than other Sob Stories, the seller didn’t choose for the father to have 6 kids or the divorce. Of course we all feel extreme sympathy toward anyone who is going through medical conditions. The blessing and holiday wishes were a nice touch.

SOB STORY #4: $200 Item

Featuring:

• Divorce
• On Social Security Benefits (SSD)
• Stolen Credit Card
• Maxed-Out Credit Card
• Financially Devastated
• Needs Groceries
• Needs to Pay Bills

POINT TOTAL: 4/10. This is the most common type of sob story ever. The only reason this lady is getting a score of 4 is because she was creative enough to say the card was stolen AND maxed out. However, if your card is stolen all you have to do is contact your bank and the charges will all be reversed.  Additionally, if you are THAT broke that you cannot afford the item you chose to buy, why on earth did you buy it??? 

THE WINNER OF THE SOB STORIES:

After an intense battle of Sob Stories, todays winner is the low income, fatty liver, father of 6 who raked in the biggest score of 5/10. Congrats sir!  Be sure to bookmark our Blog for our next Battle of Buyer Sob Stories 

Love Sob Stories? Check out 14 Hilarious & Absurd eBay & Poshmark Buyer SOB STORES or read all of our Buyer Sob Story blog posts!